Lady Lee

Joined

• started 794 topics
• posted 14,175 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by Lady Lee

• 
  10

  Post traumatic stress symptom

  by Nicolas in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i was searching informations about stress because i'm a really stressed person and i found out this site.

  it talk about the reactions of a someone who have lived a stressful events.

  http://members.aol.com/namangel1/trauma.html here is what they say:" 1. what is trauma?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lady Lee

  PTSD is a definite problem for some who have left high demand groups such as the JWs. Believe me you are not alone in this.

  The manner in which most JWs live in a state of fear and most especially those who are DFed or even DA themselves would be enough to cause the symptoms of PTSD. Losing your entire support system/community and for many family as well as all friends would be considered outside the realm of normal human experience.

  You might want to take a look at an article on my web page called <a href=" http://members.shaw.ca/leemarsh/soc-death.html">Social Death: The Practice of Disfellowshipping among JWs</A> that addresses the issue of leaving the JWs to an experience of social death. Although the article does not address PTSD and its direct relation to social death I think the link can be made between the two.

  Hmmm I might need to do a bit more writing.

  You might also find the article <a href=" http://members.shaw.ca/leemarsh/c-ptsd.html">Complex PTSD</A> interesting as it adds the perspective of a history of subjection to totalitarian control over a prolonged period.
• 
  21

  Oh No!! A List of Things Which Were Banned Or...

  by Celtic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  off limits.

  each jw culture had its variations, can you remember everything that was looked upon as being or representing, non wholesome activity?.

  dangerous sports, competitive sports, welly boots, this, that and the other.... any continuation/s?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lady Lee

  I used to arrange picnics in the park after the Sunday meeting. This went on for a couple of summers. It was nice and even the other elders and their families joined in. Before you know it we had a talk telling us our time would be better spent going door-to-door.

  I suspect that when the CO came to visit and would find out some of these things a tailormade instruction would be made for that congregation and that perhaps explains some of the local differneces. Whatever- the main point was that you should not be relaxing - ever - just doing the preaching work - aka - get new people in
• 
  21

  Oh No!! A List of Things Which Were Banned Or...

  by Celtic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  off limits.

  each jw culture had its variations, can you remember everything that was looked upon as being or representing, non wholesome activity?.

  dangerous sports, competitive sports, welly boots, this, that and the other.... any continuation/s?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lady Lee

  No office parties - of any kind - no wedding or baby showers - just in case somebody did something that was un-Christian like wish someone Good Luck or get drunk. Family get-togethers where there "might" be excessive drinking. So many "mights" that it got to the point where almost nothing was OK.

  Hmmm One OK - getting together with the bro and sis to sing kingdom melodies - groooooan
• 
  26

  Lady Lee's story

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  born in toronto, canada in 1952, i lived with my parents and three younger brothers until i was ten years old.

  there was a lot of violence in our home.

  my father was an abusive, rageful man who took out all his frustrations on his family.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lady Lee

  Hi Waiting Thanks for the comments on my web page. I have worked hard at it and like to add new things when I can. I am playing around with a few ideas so hope to have something new soon
• 
  21

  Oh No!! A List of Things Which Were Banned Or...

  by Celtic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  off limits.

  each jw culture had its variations, can you remember everything that was looked upon as being or representing, non wholesome activity?.

  dangerous sports, competitive sports, welly boots, this, that and the other.... any continuation/s?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lady Lee

  oh my gawd - dating - no dating without a chaperone - and only if you meant to marry the guy - like how would you know that unless you got together with him sometime
• 
  26

  Lady Lee's story

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  born in toronto, canada in 1952, i lived with my parents and three younger brothers until i was ten years old.

  there was a lot of violence in our home.

  my father was an abusive, rageful man who took out all his frustrations on his family.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lady Lee

  Hi Jayhawk S4 and Julie

  How sad that so many of us who experienced abuse as children get trapped as adults in a similar kind of misery. But the wonderful thing is that the truth really does make one free.

  S4 I am so looking forward to my 50's. My 30's were the pits but the 40's have been great for me and as I recover the years are getting better. Can't wait til I am sixty - hmm Nope I didn't say that - not me hehehe I find that as I get older a lot of what I thought mattered - really doesn't so I can live within my own rules in ways that are healthy and life-restoring instead of life-threatening.

  Jayhawk I don't think anyone who hasn't been there can really understand - support and comfort - but not truly understand. I think even those who have come from abusive homes would not fully understand the spiritual abuse aspects of a group like the JWs. How wonderful that we now have the opportunity to meet and share our experiences on-line and at times face-to-face.

  And Julie - thanks - onward and upwards :)
• 
  26

  Lady Lee's story

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  born in toronto, canada in 1952, i lived with my parents and three younger brothers until i was ten years old.

  there was a lot of violence in our home.

  my father was an abusive, rageful man who took out all his frustrations on his family.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lady Lee

  Well Elijah I usually get appeciative or encouraged - first time I have had poetic - thanks for the chuckle and the welcome
• 
  21

  Oh No!! A List of Things Which Were Banned Or...

  by Celtic in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  off limits.

  each jw culture had its variations, can you remember everything that was looked upon as being or representing, non wholesome activity?.

  dangerous sports, competitive sports, welly boots, this, that and the other.... any continuation/s?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lady Lee

  White shirts on men for a while then it changed to color - well pastels then went back to white.

  Any hairstyle that was in fashion or clothes. Major discussion about hair length on men and facial hair or no and when/if yes then how long. We had one brother that for some dermatogigical problem could not shave - he had to get special permission to have a beard.

  We had a rumor that Harvey's served horse meat and therefore we could not be sure how the animals were killed therefore the food was unsafe - which in turn meant we could not even have a coffee there in case someone thought we might be eating a horsemeat burger.

  My husband (st the time) destroyed all his Beatle albums for having subliminal messages.

  No garage sales just in case the owner of the house had a Ouija board or some other demonized object in their house.

  No buying things at second hand stores - especially the Salvation Army - you never could tell if the demons decided to live in the things you bought and come home with you.

  Well the book thing - no romances, fiction or worse still science fiction. Most definitely no religious books - except the voluminous Wt literature. No soap operas - daytime or night time - like Dallas. Most TV shows except maybe documentaries and the news.

  Oh lordy sex - well definite limits on what could and could not be done. Birth control - no IUD or anything else that interupted conception

  Collecting anything - well except WT books and magazines I guess

  No pets - not banned but certainly discouraged - like who would take care of them when you were away at an assembly

  Hmmm no vacations unless of course they were to visit a Bethel

  No gambling - no bingo or lotto tickets - no raffle tickets either or anything that relied on "luck"

  No extra-curricular activites from school - no sports - no music or band - no debate clubs or chess clubs (a war game so a definite no-no) and so on

  No computers - hey we might learn something and well no higher education

  Will come up with more later
• 
  19

  'The Assembly days'

  by jolly_green_giant in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  remember going to the 3 day assembly every summer, sitting for numerous exhausting hours on end?

  those were tough on me especially when i was really young and wasn't supposed to be roaming the convention center while the talks were being given.

  i couldn't beleive those pricks with the "please be seated" sings.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lady Lee

  <<All in all the assemblies weren't that bad I didn't think. Broke up the *normal* monotony of witless life. - betweenworlds>>

  Way better than going out in service
• 
  39

  What made you a JW?

  by radar in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  why did you become a dub?.

  a hope for something better?.

  an acceptance that your parents religion was the truth?.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Lady Lee

  Hmm complicated question. At the time I doubt I thought it was the beliefs. My mother started studying when I was 11. I then went into foster care for 3 years. When I went back to live with my mother at 16 I would have done anything to gain her approval and that of the people in the congregation. I would have done just about anything to get her to love and accept me. Hmmm guess I did cause I married a man she picked out and knew it was a big mistake but hey Mom said so and I dared not get her angry. Little did I know at the time that unconditional love was impossible from the borg, my mother or my husband

  Baptized at 17 - married at 18 and left/divorced/DFed at 35 - a good year)